Tossing and turning, creative unrest. . .

‘the simple adventures of everyday life’ is a collection of creative thoughts and ideas that have kept me up at night. Included, are Original Hand-Made Wedding Invitations, cards, photographs, poetry and short stories.

My Dad was an extremely creative man, an artist, who lost many a nights sleep because of planning and building in his head….I’ve found that I’m exactly the same way. On many occasions, as I tried in vain to fall asleep, I had to get up and write down an idea…or perhaps a line of poetry, that if I indeed eventually would drift off, I was sure to forget by morning.

I have always loved weddings! My obsession has taken me to some wonderful collections (vintage wedding photos & wedding cake toppers, and maybe a few vintage wedding gowns....but that's another story). . .and recently, to designing custom wedding invitations under the name 'CaroleKancarDesignStudio'.





23 February, 2010

the Broadway Market. . .





Eastertime is filled with wonderful sites, sounds, and most of all smells. Nowhere is that more true than at the Broadway Market, an Old World, European style marketplace that caters to all ethnic backgrounds. It has changed drastically over the years, and was at one time, a daily shopping place for the local eastside neighborhood and other areas of Buffalo, New York.

I'm of Polish ancestry, and all of the food items that we put into our baskets, to be blessed for the Easter breakfast (Swieconka), are available here.

During the weeks preceding Easter, the Broadway Market becomes alive again, a bustling place filled with holiday shoppers that long for those memories of when they were young, and for those that have been coming here for so many years, it's a part of who they are. For children that are brought to the Market by their parents or grandparents, it's a place that they can talk to the Easter Bunny,buy some chocolate candy,and soak up all of the beautiful, ethnic and cultural elements that will bring memories for them in years to come. For the rest of us, it takes us back to our childhood...remembering all those sites, sounds, and smells, that are tucked away in a happy place.

15 February, 2010

Vintage Cake Toppers. . .

One of my favorite collections are 'Vintage Wedding Cake Toppers'. At the moment, I have over 100 of them, from various eras. The more worn that they are, the better I like them. Here are just a few photos from my collection.

('Collection' story soon to be published)

dream. . .

While I was watching an aerialist perform during one of the segments at the opening ceremonies of the Winter Olympics, it inspired me to write this poem about a dream that I often have.

I sometimes dream that I can fly,
A chance encounter with the sky.
My feet propel me off the wall,
On gentle breezes ne'er to fall.

I twist and turn amid my flight,
Soaring upward throughout the night.
I see the stars, with silver strands,
Their shining glow upon my hands.


I'm chasing stardust here and there,
A glowing halo on my hair.
The earth, a pearl beneath the skies,
Is silent now, no smiles, no cries.

The moon caresses me as I fly,
I take a breath, let out a sigh.
The shimmer of the moons sweet beams,
Brings me so close, that's how it seems.


I think I've touched an angels wing,
I've heard their song, I hear them sing. . .
A mesmerizing, lilting song,
I will be back, I won't be long.


On blessed wings I learn to soar,
My very soul at Heaven's door.
Moving air beneath my breast,
My dream is done. . .it's time to rest.

09 February, 2010

'the Art of Falling'. . .


There was a period in my life when falling down had become common place to me. As far back as 4 years old, I can remember running after my Mother and falling on the concrete walkway, skinning both of my knees. As I sat with bloodied knees on my Mothers' lap and cried, I remember her comforting me. Do I remember this because it was so traumatic for a 4 year old, or would this be the start of a lifelong pattern?

It was a number of years that had passed before I took another big fall. . .this time at my engagement party. The party was held in my parents basement, which meant that all the food had to be carted down the basement stairs. I had on a pair of white high heels and all day long I listened to my Mother say, "Take off those shoes, you're going to fall...take off those damn shoes, you're going to fall.". How could I take off the shoes, they went with the outfit!! And of course after having it drummed into my head for hours, I did indeed fall. Tumbling head first down the basement stairs as I carried a large glass platter of ham and a smaller one of butter. My Dad was sitting at a table in the basement and saw me start to go down, but was unable to do anything since the fall was already in progress. The platters went down first and shattered on the concrete floor...I soon followed with a full somersault motion, landing spread eagle on the broken platters and about an inch away from a basement support pole. As I sat up, I noticed that the white high heels were gone from my feet. Had they fallen off as I fell? No...my Mother had ripped them off my feet as I lay on the basement floor, and that was the last I had ever seen of them. Well, she did warn me that I would fall!!!
As I was helped up, I looked down and noticed that my dress was covered in blood...when I landed, my hand hit the broken glass and I had a deep gash from my thumb toward my wrist. My engagement party ended with a visit to the emergency room and a number of stitches in my hand. It was very surprising that I didn't break any bones, and had only lost a pair of shoes in the process.

My next major tumble took place at Niagara Falls, Canada. This was a very popular destination for us for many years. On one occasion, we were walking down Clifton Hill, which is a very busy street lined with gardens, tourist shops, tour buses, and of course, tourists. And it is indeed a hill!
My ensemble for that day included a halter top, wide leg slacks, and a pair of high wedged sandals...the emphasis is on 'high'! A hideous outfit to say the least, let alone one in which to do a dramatic roll into the street. Yes, I had literally fallen off my shoe and tumbled into the street directly in front of a stopped tour bus...I could almost see the tourists snapping my picture as I scooped myself up in total embarrassment and rushed back to the curb! The only thing worse would have been if my halter top had come off. Again, nothing broken except my pride!

At an upscale department store in a local shopping mall, I was just passing the makeup counters when my ankle gave way and down I went. Embarrassed, I picked myself up and of course did the 'look back' to see what had tripped me, then continued on my way...a few feet later, I went down AGAIN! The utter humiliation!
This wasn't the first time that I had fallen in that mall. On an earlier shopping excursion I had tripped (on what, I have no idea), and slid on my knees across the mall concourse like a Broadway dancers big finale. How did I ever get up the momentum to slide that far? I looked up, and out of nowhere, a security guard was asking me if I was 'ok'...do I look 'OK'?.
We had attended a Cub Scout Rally at Old Fort Niagara quite a few years ago when we were involved in scouting. I was walking along side a ditch (now you'd think that by this time I would know better than to walk along side a ditch...here's an accident waiting to happen), with my husband and friends, just chatting, when somehow I lost my footing and tumbled into the ditch...one minute I was talking and the next minute I was rolling. There was no sympathy from anyone, just laughter. Of course, this could have been an opportunity for a scout to work on his first aid merit badge.



When I went back to work, I got a position as a receptionist ('Greeter' was the official term which I always hated because it sounded like someone from a prom committee), in a car dealership. In the showroom was what they called a 'podium', but which was in fact a desk at the top of 3 carpeted stairs. One afternoon as I started to walk down the steps, the heel of my shoe got caught on the rug. As I started to fall down the stairs, I grabbed onto my chair...unfortunately, the chair was on rollers...oh yes, I took it right down with me. The salesmen that were standing there just looked at me. A little help here, please!

Another fall I took at work was going up the stairs to my office while I was holding a mug of coffee. I almost made it to the top, but as my foot touched the step, it stopped, but I kept going. I tried not to spill the coffee which I think made the fall worse than it might have been if I had just gone with the falling action. When I hit the floor, I also hit the office door and the metal door frame, with my head...as I lay there in a puddle of coffee, the door suddenly opened and there was my boss, who was having a meeting at the time, saying 'Oh my God, it's Carole!'. Now I knew that I took a hard hit to my head because it really hurt and I could feel an indentation in it. They sat me on a chair and started to ask me questions to see if I was coherent. I figured that it would be a good idea to get some x-rays taken just to make sure that I didn't have a concussion. When I made the decision to go to the emergency room, they told me that I also had to go for a drug test, just to make sure that drugs weren't the cause of my fall. Well, that's a story in itself...a first time drug test! Anyway, I ended up with a contusion and after all of this, didn't even break the mug.

Recently, at a family picnic in a beautiful county park, I took my sons' dog, Traveler, for a walk across a large meadow. Traveler is a 100 pound Alaskan Malamute, and the sweetest dog that you'd ever want to meet!! I knew that he had to take a dump, so, geared with my little plastic 'poopie' bag, I volunteered to take him. We walked around the perimeter of the meadow near the trees, but all he was interested in was getting some sniffing time in. When we neared the road, he finally took up his 'dump stance' and proceeded to do his business as I encouraged him..."What a good boy Traveler is!!!". After he finished, my encouragement must have really sunk in because he started to run circles around me, frantically, as fast as he could. Little did I know, everyone was watching and commenting on what Traveler was doing to me. I tried in vain to halt his run, but when I couldn't, I bent over to try and pick up the shit with my little bag because I figured that he was going to run right through it. The next thing I knew, I was hurled into the air. You know that feeling when something is happening that you can't believe and you can't do anything about it? Well, that's how I felt. I could feel him run under me and I was afraid that I would fall on top of him. I landed on my side with my one foot flat on the ground and the leash still around my wrist. As I looked to the side where the picnic was, I saw my son, Eric, slowly walking toward me. I was puzzled as to why he was walking so slowly, but later found out that he was afraid that if he ran, Traveler would run to him with me in tow. I sat up, started to move body parts just to make sure that they worked, and then got up, no worse for wear...at least that's what I thought. The next day I could hardly move...everywhere on my body hurt! My son made me feel so much better when he told me that people from the road were watching what had happened. It took months for the pain in my shoulder and foot to go away. A lesson learned...NEVER try to pick up dog shit when the dog is celebrating his dump!
I often wonder if all of these falls over the years were perhaps the result of klutziness...or were they the manifestation of depression and low self-esteem? Or, maybe it's as simple as being so wrapped up in where I'm going...what I'm doing...what I'm looking at...who I'm talking to, that I don't pay attention to how or where I'm walking (shoes play a big part in this too). Whatever the reason, I've never broken a single bone, and for that, I feel very lucky...BUT, one day I'll probably disintegrate into a heap of bones because of 'retroactive breakage'.

08 February, 2010

epitaph. . .

I watch the dancers and I want to dance,
I, want to be the dancer.
I hear the singers and I want to sing,
I, want to be the singer.
I see the paintings and I want to paint,
I, want to be the artist.
And in my next life, I will be all of these things.

vintage feel. . .







'Underwood 1913' is reminiscent of using an
old typewriter to print your wedding invitations.
The black and white photograph brings an
intimate feel to a simple design, and the
hand-stamped monogram on the cover adds
distinction...and it is finally tied
with a grosgrain ribbon.
This invitation is suitable for any
season wedding and can be made
to fit any color scheme.

05 February, 2010

winter beach. . .




Aside from glass, the beach in winter has many other offerings.....namely beach debris. These washed up 'artifacts', if you will, make for great photographs. It's so much fun to wander the snow and ice covered beach in search of interesting finds. Even the ice formations can be amazingly beautiful....like crystals, slowly melting and dripping back into the lake water. Driftwood is strewn everywhere, and walking on it can be a challenge. I can find beauty and a photo in just about anything, as my many photos of old tires can attest to. Even the carcasses of dead animals that have washed up on the shore after nature, with it's winter brutality, has had it's way with them, and although rather gruesome, can be interesting subjects to photograph. What's truly great though, is being able to enjoy the beach no matter what season it is...and each season has it's own individual personality.