One day last summer, my sister-in-law Barbara, called to tell me that our local cemetery, St. Mathews, was having a 'Two for One' sale on military grave sites. This new section would, upon completion, mimic Arlington National Cemetery with all white marble headstones. Quite a few of our family and friends are buried at St. Mathew's, including my Dad and Jerry's Mom and Dad. I listened to what Barbara had to say, and it really seemed like a great deal, but we weren't quite ready to buy a plot.
That same day, my husband and I were going to the Social Security office to make an appointment so that we could sign up. On the way there, my husband, Jerry, turns to me and asks if I want to go to the cemetery after the Social Security office and check it out. "Oh my God....Social Security and the cemetery in the same day...you might as well get the shovel out!!" I was in no mood to do that!
But the more I thought about it, I guess it couldn't hurt. So, that's exactly what we did. The representative took us to the new site and explained things to us. What we found out was that the military person's name goes at the top of the monument, along with rank and dates...the spouses name goes at the bottom, like an afterthought...Lt. Ralph Smith, U.S. Army, 1930-2002...and oh yeah, by the way, he was married to Mildred!! Oh, I don't think so, I'll have none of that, thank you very much! So, we asked her to take us to see the regular sites that were available. There were two in the garden where my Dad is buried. One of which was just perfect...near the road, under a tree, near a water spicket, backing up to a hedge....it was beautiful! And the monuments on either side were really nice, no purple urns or artificial flowers.
We bought the plot then and there. While we were transacting the business end of this, in walks Barbara and her husband Conrad....it was like 'old home day' at the cemetery!!! They decided to take the 'two for one' deal....Barbara said she doesn't mind being at the bottom of the stone since she would sooner or later be under it.
When Jerry told our sons, he told them that we had bought some land....we thought that was pretty funny, the boys, not so much! The younger one, Eric, couldn't believe we did that...Todd, the oldest, understood. I myself can really understand Eric's feelings because my mother has had a sign on her wall with instructions on what to do when she passes. I told her not to worry, I would put her in a clear trash bag at the side of the road. But I never wanted to know about these instructions because it brings reality way too close.
The next step was to choose a monument. We wanted something simple, but different. We decided to ride through the cemetery and look at all the monuments, perhaps we'd get some ideas....and we most certainly did. We found a beautiful old monument that was weathered with moss, and it was the backside that we really liked.....simple and classic.
We took photos of it and took it to a Stone Art company. We told them exactly what we wanted and chose a very plain gray granite. We still have to choose the font, but everything else is all set. When we told Eric that we bought the monument, he wanted to know if we bought the caskets too! Jerry told him that since he's really handy, he was going to make them! We have since taken Todd and our daughter-in-law, Jenna, to see our 'land'. We thought about maybe setting up some lawn chairs and enjoying the serenity.
I guess it really was a nice day to buy a grave.
