If you want something done. . .

You know that old saying...'If you want something done, do it yourself'? Well, I always used that adage as a coaxing tool, hoping to generate some sympathy from my husband, Jerry, when he didn't move quickly enough to do something that I needed done, hoping that he'd take pity on me and do what I asked (well, that never really worked). No sympathy there!

Years ago, we had a full size, three cushioned, winged-back, brown PLAID, monstrosity of a sofa!!! Oh, the HORROR!!! Not to mention, the matching chair, like there wasn't enough plaid in the room already!

After living with this lovely piece for quite a few years, it got to a point that I just couldn't look at it for even one more day. So, like I usually did when I wanted something removed, I asked Jerry to take it in the basement (where all unwanted furniture went to die), with me, but that was just not on his agenda. Well, after asking him for some time, and not getting any response, I took this upon myself to do (here's where that adage comes in). How hard can this be????? After all, I WAS freakishly strong ( I really was). I told Jerry that I would 'do it myself' and he kept telling me not to even try it, but he tells me a not to do a lot of things...ask him how often I listen!

I waited until I was home alone, of course, then assessed and cleared the potential moving route that I would take for this endeavor...out of the living room, through the dining room...through our small kitchen, and then down a step into a very tiny back hall (probably a square yard wide),...then left to the basement...as easy as that!

I took all of the cushions off of the sofa, then proceeded to put my plan into action...I PU..ULLED and PU..USHED it until I got it to the hall. Now, I needed to re-evaluate the situation. "So let's see, if I take it down the small step on the short side, I should be able to just lower it onto the basement stairs...yeah, that'll work!" So that's exactly what I did. I stood it upright on it's side, then pushed the other side that was on the floor, down into the basement...so easy...well, it didn't quite go down the basement stairs. It got stuck...on the stairs...just past the doorway. It wouldn't budge!! What now???? I decided that if I pulled it from the other side, the side that faced the basement, it would surely go down. I climbed over it until I was between the sofa and the basement wall, hoping to move to the other side...unfortunately, now I got stuck and couldn't move either way...ok, I think I have a slight problem.

That's all I kept thinking about was, what if I was still stuck here when Jerry got home from work????...I was sure to get an 'I TOLD YOU SO!!!', and there was no way I wanted to hear that! I kept squirming, and pulling, and trying to pry myself out of the wedged-in position that gave me no leverage what so ever...'OK, this can't be good'. Finally after what seemed like an eternity, and with a lot of grunting, groaning, and swearing, I did indeed pry myself out...SUCCESS!!!...well, not quite, the sofa was still stuck.

I crawled my way back up the sofa, (hoping that it wouldn't decide to make it's move to the basement with me straddled on top of it), to the small hall and at that point had to once again re-evaluate my situation. I now had an alternate plan...I sat on the floor, put both of my feet solidly on the side of the sofa, pulled back, and with all my might and both of my legs, I kicked the sofa so hard that it went bouncing down the basement stairs....see, how hard was that?!!