Butterflies Last Flight

Last summer as I walked the beach searching for treasures, I noticed that the shore, the sand, and the rocks, were strewn with dead butterflies..they were everywhere....it was the weirdest thing to see....and so very sad.  It seemed as though they're demise might have been because they got caught up in the surf.  I started to write a poem in my head.....this is the result of that.

Follow me to the azure sea,
to white sands rich and warm…
with tiny shells, and weathered glass,
washed up from storm to storm.

Follow me to sun kissed cliffs,
to rocky, cozy, nooks,
where fossils are a lasting print
like pages on stone books.

Follow me to frothy waves,
that sing a soft, sweet sigh...
We’ll dance on balmy breezes,
pay homage to the sky.

Follow me to endless dreams,
to what is meant to be.
We’ll take a breath, we’ll bow our heads..
surrender to the sea.

oh NO...SNOW!!

A few weeks ago, I wrote this and neglected to post it.  Unlike my son, Eric, who seems to love the beauty of all seasons, for me winter is a countdown to spring, and pretty much, only that....

I have never been a fan of winter...or snow....or even Christmas.  I start stressing about the entire season already in August and have often wished that I could hide in a closet until it's all over.  BUT....when the snow is newly fallen and fresh, the beauty is breathtaking.For the past two days, we've experienced our first heavy lake effect snowfall.  Most areas were hit really hard, some worse than others, and some, had hardly a dusting.  The snow itself is heavy and last night when I went to bed, I could hear a crackling sound, which turned out to be a tree in our yard that had given way to the weight of the snow.  We were awakened at 4am by the sound of a chainsaw.....our neighbor was without electricity because one of his trees had fallen on the wires, and the electric company was cutting the tree away. The sunny morning brought an awesome beauty of a winter wonderland.  Everything was covered; the snow covered trees were bowing down and the sound was crisp.  Now tell me, how can I not love this grandeur?

Sweet October

A deep breath. . .the beautiful woody scent of wet leaves,
a smell that imbeds in my being.
A smile on my face, as branches sway and whisper ‘goodbye’,
their leaves tumble to the ground acknowledging their demise. . .
they waltz to the windy music, a last dance.
Pumpkins, gourds, corn stalks. . .stand watch over the
radiant autumn countryside. . .
while flickering jack-o-lanterns peer eerily in darkness.
Like a child, I walk through piled leaves. . .
the rustling sound brings a giddiness to my heart!
I dwell on the mesmerizing sights, sounds, and smells . .
Oh, sweet October, if only you could linger on.

Halloween

Walk through the graves on Halloween night,

the ghouls wear black, and the ghosts wear white. 

 

Memories linger of lives long dead,

and bodies sleep in a deep dirt bed.

The revelry moves to torturous tones,

screaming and moaning amid the gray stones...

The powers of darkness bring lost souls home -

never to rest; forever to roam.

Cries of passion possessed by the night;

tormented shadows, creatures of fright.

The voices of death capture howls from the wind,

this celebration’s for those who have sinned.

Restless remains and spirits arise,

then back to the ground where their future lies.

Road to Bermuda...

With our 40th wedding anniversary approaching in October, we have been trying to decide where we would like to go to celebrate. This takes me back 10 years, when we took our first cruise to Bermuda as a 30th anniversary celebration. Neither of us had ever been on a cruise before, so I decided to do some research so as not to seem like utter novices. What I eventually found out, was that when on a cruise, you become acclimated very quickly to the ships routine, and are pretty much guided throughout the trip by a very accommodating staff.
Now you have to understand what mindset I was in at the time when shopping for the trip. ‘Titanic’ was the big movie out at that time….the book stores were filled with everything and anything that you wanted to know about it...coincidence, I think not! When I passed the shelves filled with Titanic books, I turned my head and wouldn’t look directly at them, for fear of jinxing our trip. When I shopped for a windbreaker, my thought process went something like this…’If I buy the black jacket, I won’t be seen floating in the water, so I’m best to buy the hot pink….much easier to spot’...I was convinced we were sailing on the Titanic 2!!!!
 Our trip started by driving to New York city to see our son, Todd. He would have use of our vehicle for the week while we were out of the country. We would spend a day visiting with him before embarking from Chelsea Pier to Bermuda
 

The day we were to sail was a Sunday, and since we didn’t have to be at the dock until afternoon, I wanted to go to Mass at St. Patrick’s Cathedral. We called for a Town Car to take us to the church, the day was rainy. The Town Car arrived right on time, and we were off.
The streets were very busy, as is the norm for New York City. The driver went down some small side streets, and finally I could see St. Patrick’s on the block ahead of us….we were so close….’there it is, I can see it!’. It was slow going for such a short distance that was left. All of a sudden we heard sirens behind us. A fire truck was trying to make his way down the same street that we were on….a one way street. Our driver edged his way down the street and slowly into the intersection, trying to give way for the fire truck to pass. He kept inching further into the intersection….as I looked to the left, I saw a cab coming directly for us, not slowing down, just moving in our direction. I knew at that moment that he was going to broadside us, and sure enough that’s exactly what happened! We were so close…..why didn’t we get out and walk??????

Stupidly, Jerry and I did not buckle our seatbelts. When the cab hit, it was a major jolt! I hit my head really hard on the ceiling of the Town Car. Next thing I knew the door was being opened and a police officer was asking us if we were alright. We pretty much were, but decided to get checked out at the hospital.

So there we were, just a few hours from sailing to Bermuda, in an emergency vehicle, on our way to the hospital. We never got to St. Patrick’s for mass that day.
I decided to call Todd and gently tell him what had happened, since I didn’t want to get him all shook up…’Hi Todd, Dad and I are fine….we were in a slight accident on our way to church. We’re in an emergency vehicle, but we’re ok, on our way to the hospital just to get checked out, we’re ok...we’ll see you at the dock later.’...gentle enough?
We checked out fine, but they gave us some pain killers to take along, just in case.  Great start to our trip!!

We arrived at the dock, said our ‘Goodbye’s’, crossed the gangplank, and were immediately ambushed by the ‘Cruise Photographer’...S-M-I-L-E!!!!!! Little did I know that this would be only the first of the thousands of photographs that they want to take of you….and oh yes….SELL TO YOU!!!!!
My first thoughts as we entered the main concourse was, ”Wow, Vegas TACKY”!!!! This was not one of the new sleek mega ships. It was older, with less passengers, and so much smaller than the floating cities that are now offered.
We got to our cabin well in advance of all of our luggage. Once everyone was onboard and settled in, we were called to our ‘muster stations’!!! ‘I KNEW IT!!!’!! So with life vests on, we headed to the deck that we were assigned to for our emergency instructions, ‘EMERGENCY?? WHAT EMERGENCY???’…..we weren’t even out of the dock!!!!! OK, I know this is the usual procedure, but when you think that you’re on the Titanic 2, not such a good feeling!!!

Our outer cabin was small. They pushed the twin beds together for us, and believe it or not, there were also 2 fold down beds on the walls. This cabin was barely enough room for us, let alone two more people in here...they’re kidding, right? Well at one point, I hit my head on the folded bed, yet another head injury! The bathroom was pretty much just a ‘do your business and get out’ kind of place. Anyone of large girth would definitely have a problem, I could actually see them having to come and pry someone out of there. The shower was barely enough room for one, let alone two, we had to turn in unison (hey, it was our anniversary!).

One thing about cruising that is truly against my grain, is eating dinner with strangers…..although, Jerry, being the social guy that he is, loves it. So there I was, wanting a table for two, and Jerry ready to tell our fellow cruisers our life story, and hear theirs. We had a mixed bag at our table…..from really friendly young attorney’s, to newly weds who didn’t always make it to dinner, ...to a crabby old dentist who wasn’t very happy when the table hopping pirate put the parrot on his shoulder…”ARG!”. I have to say that the conversation did actually take my mind off the storm that was happening at sea with lightening that we could see out the windows. Don’t let anyone ever fool you and say that you don’t feel the ships movement….sometimes, ever so slight, and even on a calm day, once in awhile you feel it, like someone is moving the floor beneath you.

The food was amazing, and you could pretty much eat until they rolled you back to your cabin. The entertainment provided by the waiters was also good….the getting everyone involved, not so much! Breakfast was my favorite because we were on our own and always sat at the bow next to the huge windows...it was relaxing and beautiful! I was very disappointed with the shops onboard….everyday, they would fill the upper concourse with sellable items, and I can’t forget the art sale….if you want to call it that! The shops were few and the merchandise was not great. The ships excursions were very pricey , and if you didn’t sign up as soon as you boarded the boat, you were out of luck.  

We opted for our own excursions. One of which was to a Bermuda beach. We had heard so much about the pink sand, not really pink, that we wanted to spend at least one afternoon there. We decided to take a bus to the beach since the ship was docked quite far away….cabs & scooters were also available….cabs were expensive, scooters dangerous. Little did we know that the bus ride would also be dangerous!!! The roads were really narrow and extremely winding. The bus must have been going 90 miles an hour, at least it seemed that fast. You had to hang on for dear life!! I can remember thinking that if you were a pedestrian, and stepped out into the road when the bus was coming, just kiss your ass goodbye...you didn’t have a chance. The driver packed the bus beyond capacity, and at one point let an entire class of little school children board, they ended up sitting on our laps….the little boy on Jerry’s lap commented to him that he had a curl on his forehead...very observant child. Jerry told the driver that he would be a great New York city cabby, he said that that’s where he came from!! We found the beach very nice, but when you’re in a strange place, how could we both go into the water and leave our belonging? We went in one at a time...no fun in that!

The shopping ports were great, I truly did enjoy that. Seeing the ship ’parallel parked’ right next to the street was incredible...how did they do that?? We also visited a glass blowing shop that was probably the best thing that we did. The entertainment aboard ship was so, so corny!!! That did not impress me at all.

But I have to say that all in all we loved our trip.
However, while we were in Bermuda, our car in New York city was towed because Todd parked in the wrong place, and we had two deaths in the family, my Uncle from my Mother’s side, and my Aunt from my Father’s side.  Cell phones were not used all that much yet 10 years ago, and I felt so out of touch with home.

The day that we docked back in New York city, everyone was color coded to make it easy to disembark. We were all herded into the main auditorium...there, everyone waited for their color to be called. It seemed like forever. I started to feel queasy and light headed, and just plain weird. I thought that it might be claustrophobia because of all the people, and the lack of fresh air. We decided to wait on deck…..I just kept feeling worse and worse. Finally we got off the ship and I couldn’t wait to get to our hotel and take a nap.
I felt better that evening after a long nap, and we met Todd for dinner. The next day, we were on the road back to Elma. The first thing that I did when we got there was take flowers to my cousins, and go to the cemetery. When I got back home, me legs became weak, and buckled under me. My heart started to pound heavily, I felt faint, and I broke out in a cold sweat…..I thought for sure that I was having a heart attack. I went to see the doctor and she thought that it just might have been from all the excitement of the trip, and she sent me for blood work just to be safe.

The next day I went to get the blood work done. The technician asked me about the trip and if I got seasick. I told her that before we ventured on this cruise, I had asked my doctor to give me something for sea sickness. Not that I had ever been seasick, but I have had severe motion sickness which was horrible, and I didn’t want my trip to be ruined. She gave us small patches to be put behind the ear. Before we boarded, I stuck mine on, and figured that I was good to go. When my patch fell off, I would put on a new one...I did this three times. When I finished telling her this, she asked, “WHAT?”. She then told me how potent these patches are and that I overdosed on the seasick patch and that’s why I felt so sick once we came home, I was going through withdrawal. She said that one patch would have taken care of me for the entire trip….huh? Who knew!!!

Well, I guess that we didn’t sail on the Titanic 2, but we certainly did have some misadventures…..”so what do you think Jerry, another cruise????”!!

child's play

twinkle, twinkle, little star. . .

jacks, jump rope, pedal car. . .

paper dolls, metal toys,

where are those little girls and boys?

somersaults, hide and seek. . .
'count to ten, and don't you peek!'
red light - green light, 'may I?' too. . .
games we played, until we grew.
innocence of times long gone. . .

those children sang a carefree song.

tick...tock...

On the morning of July 3rd, I sat down at the computer to write this poem that I had been thinking about the night before...little did I know the impact this poem would have.

tick...tock...


tick...tock...
time slips away...
one more night? one more day?

memories present themselves,
a slideshow in my head...
enjoying them for one last time,
before the day I'm dead.

tick...tock...
days disappear...
a month is gone, and now a year.

how many more will I have left?
there is no time to waste...
completing all those "should have's"
with quickness and in haste.

tick...tock...
no time left, I have no fear...
I see the end, the end is near.

a fleeting sigh, a lingered breath..
how many more until my death?

tick...tock...tick...tock...tick.....................


That evening we found out that our dear neighbor of almost 20 years, Art Reimer, had passed away suddenly. Little to say we were all in shock. Art was a guy full of life and adventure, always ready with a joke or a smile. We've all been saddened by his loss. We'll miss you, Art, but we'll never forget.

shoes...

So, what is it exactly about shoes that tingles our fancy?? Perhaps it's that feeling of being really 'dressed up' when wearing a new pair of shoes...or maybe, it's the elongated look that high heels give to our legs. Whatever the reason, shoes seem to be important to most women, and I'm no different.

Since we were little girls, those new black patent leather 'Mary Jane's', that clicked on the floor when we walked, gave us that 'girlie' feeling that was always so rewarding. Our little white, ruffled socks folded over ever so neatly...We were dressed in our best and the shoes made us feel that way.

My cousin Jackie and I loved shopping for shoes when we were teenagers. There was a shoe store called 'Bakers' that always had the latest styles on sale and we couldn't resist taking advantage of that! We were together when I bought my wedding shoes there, and I only paid $1 for them.....white satin pumps, can you believe it, just what I was looking for. I still have those shoes, and now they're forty years old!! I think I got my money's worth!!

I remember as a kid, having play high heels that had a strap of elastic to hold them on....of course I also remember falling off of them all the time, but they were fun. Wearing mom's high heels, gloves in hand, pop-it beads around our necks, and a purse hanging over the crook of our arm, made us feel like little grown up ladies, ready for shopping or tea. Could this shoe thing be inborn??.....who knows. What I do know is that I just love shoes, and sometimes cannot resist buying a pair that I just have to have.....but in fact, end up never being worn.

Go-Go boots????....what was I thinking???....don't even ask!!

I'm surprised that I didn't buy more of these.......they came in so many colors!!! When I got home, I figured that I had better practice walking in them. When I put them on, my balance immediately became very tilted....forward!!! Uh, let's see, am I supposed to walk on a slant???? But they looked so goooood!!!! I hope they enjoy where they're living!

"There's no place like home, there's no place like home".....you don't want to know!!!


These are my latest 'had to haves'......I can actually walk in them, but haven't worn them as of yet.

I don't think that this shoe fascination is exclusive to women. My husband, Jerry, also enjoys buying new shoes.....can't have too many wing tips or bucks!!!

So, I'm inclined to come to the conclusion that new shoes are like the frosting on a cake, the cherry atop a sundae, the period at the end of a sentence.....they complete the look!!

April beach. . .

It was a beautiful day for the beach...sunny, but chilly, which warranted us wearing warmer coats since it's always cooler near the water.

This 'April beach' is so different than last year. When we were here then, we had to bundle up in heavy winter wear. The beach itself was littered with huge piles of debris. This year, we've already been here wearing summer clothes, and the beach is clean and clear, except for a few things scattered here and there.

Jerry went fishing at one end of the beach and I went 'hunting' at the other. After a few loud choruses of Brenda Lee's 'All Alone Am I', 'Big Spender' (from 'Sweet Charity'), and 'Are the Stars Out Tonight'. I got down to the business at hand...finding glass.

The beach was empty, except for the two of us...which of course was the reason I could sing out loud. This is how I like the beach! To the few people who did eventually wander in, I felt like saying, "Get OFF MY beach!!"! I had my little bucket and my pick-up stick, a must have when it comes to looking for glass, much easier on the back.

I was in my glory!! A gorgeous day, an empty beach, the sound of the waves teasing the shore (one of my favorite sounds), what more could I ask for.
I have what I like to call a 'glass' eye...I'm able to see the most elusive shards of glass, peering ever so slightly from beneath stones and sand...gleaming, chameleon-like slivers, resting amid rocks and slate, hoping to blend in with the surroundings..."you can't hide from me!!!"!

The glass on this beach is not what I normally find at the inlet, which always has an abundance of pottery and pieces of restaurant ware. This glass is well weathered, showing it's time in the water has been long. But these are the highly coveted pieces that collectors look for...these are the pieces that make beautiful jewelry. The most unusual color that I found today was a small piece of vivid pink, most of the rest was white, aqua, green, brown, some cobalt blue, and an occasional lavender. The best piece that I found was the side of an old Coca Cola bottle...a perfect find! My bucket was full since I had ventured farther than ever along the shore, time to see if Jerry caught anything.

I'm always so excited to check out my 'booty' when I get home...booty is 'pirate speak' for seized goods...I guess you could say that I seized the glass from the beach!

 
Debris is at a minimum right now, although there were a few items that caught my eye to photograph. One was a golden yellow velour recliner that had it's footrest replaced with a small bale of hay. Near it was a small bonfire...someone had really made themselves at home, they were comfy and I got a great photo!

Another item was a rather sizable bra...we figure that there might be a story to tell between the recliner and the bra...hmmmm....let's just use our imaginations!!

We're getting an early start to our beach combing this year and I'm so happy about that!! The beach is a wonderful place to spend a beautiful day!

If you want something done. . .

You know that old saying...'If you want something done, do it yourself'? Well, I always used that adage as a coaxing tool, hoping to generate some sympathy from my husband, Jerry, when he didn't move quickly enough to do something that I needed done, hoping that he'd take pity on me and do what I asked (well, that never really worked). No sympathy there!

Years ago, we had a full size, three cushioned, winged-back, brown PLAID, monstrosity of a sofa!!! Oh, the HORROR!!! Not to mention, the matching chair, like there wasn't enough plaid in the room already!

After living with this lovely piece for quite a few years, it got to a point that I just couldn't look at it for even one more day. So, like I usually did when I wanted something removed, I asked Jerry to take it in the basement (where all unwanted furniture went to die), with me, but that was just not on his agenda. Well, after asking him for some time, and not getting any response, I took this upon myself to do (here's where that adage comes in). How hard can this be????? After all, I WAS freakishly strong ( I really was). I told Jerry that I would 'do it myself' and he kept telling me not to even try it, but he tells me a not to do a lot of things...ask him how often I listen!

I waited until I was home alone, of course, then assessed and cleared the potential moving route that I would take for this endeavor...out of the living room, through the dining room...through our small kitchen, and then down a step into a very tiny back hall (probably a square yard wide),...then left to the basement...as easy as that!

I took all of the cushions off of the sofa, then proceeded to put my plan into action...I PU..ULLED and PU..USHED it until I got it to the hall. Now, I needed to re-evaluate the situation. "So let's see, if I take it down the small step on the short side, I should be able to just lower it onto the basement stairs...yeah, that'll work!" So that's exactly what I did. I stood it upright on it's side, then pushed the other side that was on the floor, down into the basement...so easy...well, it didn't quite go down the basement stairs. It got stuck...on the stairs...just past the doorway. It wouldn't budge!! What now???? I decided that if I pulled it from the other side, the side that faced the basement, it would surely go down. I climbed over it until I was between the sofa and the basement wall, hoping to move to the other side...unfortunately, now I got stuck and couldn't move either way...ok, I think I have a slight problem.

That's all I kept thinking about was, what if I was still stuck here when Jerry got home from work????...I was sure to get an 'I TOLD YOU SO!!!', and there was no way I wanted to hear that! I kept squirming, and pulling, and trying to pry myself out of the wedged-in position that gave me no leverage what so ever...'OK, this can't be good'. Finally after what seemed like an eternity, and with a lot of grunting, groaning, and swearing, I did indeed pry myself out...SUCCESS!!!...well, not quite, the sofa was still stuck.

I crawled my way back up the sofa, (hoping that it wouldn't decide to make it's move to the basement with me straddled on top of it), to the small hall and at that point had to once again re-evaluate my situation. I now had an alternate plan...I sat on the floor, put both of my feet solidly on the side of the sofa, pulled back, and with all my might and both of my legs, I kicked the sofa so hard that it went bouncing down the basement stairs....see, how hard was that?!!

Nice Day to Buy a Grave. . .

One day last summer, my sister-in-law Barbara, called to tell me that our local cemetery, St. Mathews, was having a 'Two for One' sale on military grave sites. This new section would, upon completion, mimic Arlington National Cemetery with all white marble headstones. Quite a few of our family and friends are buried at St. Mathew's, including my Dad and Jerry's Mom and Dad. I listened to what Barbara had to say, and it really seemed like a great deal, but we weren't quite ready to buy a plot.

That same day, my husband and I were going to the Social Security office to make an appointment so that we could sign up. On the way there, my husband, Jerry, turns to me and asks if I want to go to the cemetery after the Social Security office and check it out. "Oh my God....Social Security and the cemetery in the same day...you might as well get the shovel out!!" I was in no mood to do that!

But the more I thought about it, I guess it couldn't hurt. So, that's exactly what we did. The representative took us to the new site and explained things to us. What we found out was that the military person's name goes at the top of the monument, along with rank and dates...the spouses name goes at the bottom, like an afterthought...Lt. Ralph Smith, U.S. Army, 1930-2002...and oh yeah, by the way, he was married to Mildred!! Oh, I don't think so, I'll have none of that, thank you very much! So, we asked her to take us to see the regular sites that were available. There were two in the garden where my Dad is buried. One of which was just perfect...near the road, under a tree, near a water spicket, backing up to a hedge....it was beautiful! And the monuments on either side were really nice, no purple urns or artificial flowers.

We bought the plot then and there. While we were transacting the business end of this, in walks Barbara and her husband Conrad....it was like 'old home day' at the cemetery!!! They decided to take the 'two for one' deal....Barbara said she doesn't mind being at the bottom of the stone since she would sooner or later be under it.

When Jerry told our sons, he told them that we had bought some land....we thought that was pretty funny, the boys, not so much! The younger one, Eric, couldn't believe we did that...Todd, the oldest, understood. I myself can really understand Eric's feelings because my mother has had a sign on her wall with instructions on what to do when she passes. I told her not to worry, I would put her in a clear trash bag at the side of the road. But I never wanted to know about these instructions because it brings reality way too close.

The next step was to choose a monument. We wanted something simple, but different. We decided to ride through the cemetery and look at all the monuments, perhaps we'd get some ideas....and we most certainly did. We found a beautiful old monument that was weathered with moss, and it was the backside that we really liked.....simple and classic.

We took photos of it and took it to a Stone Art company. We told them exactly what we wanted and chose a very plain gray granite. We still have to choose the font, but everything else is all set. When we told Eric that we bought the monument, he wanted to know if we bought the caskets too! Jerry told him that since he's really handy, he was going to make them! We have since taken Todd and our daughter-in-law, Jenna, to see our 'land'. We thought about maybe setting up some lawn chairs and enjoying the serenity.

I guess it really was a nice day to buy a grave.

the Broadway Market. . .

Eastertime is filled with wonderful sites, sounds, and most of all smells. Nowhere is that more true than at the Broadway Market, an Old World, European style marketplace that caters to all ethnic backgrounds. It has changed drastically over the years, and was at one time, a daily shopping place for the local eastside neighborhood and other areas of Buffalo, New York.

I'm of Polish ancestry, and all of the food items that we put into our baskets, to be blessed for the Easter breakfast (Swieconka), are available here.

During the weeks preceding Easter, the Broadway Market becomes alive again, a bustling place filled with holiday shoppers that long for those memories of when they were young, and for those that have been coming here for so many years, it's a part of who they are. For children that are brought to the Market by their parents or grandparents, it's a place that they can talk to the Easter Bunny,buy some chocolate candy,and soak up all of the beautiful, ethnic and cultural elements that will bring memories for them in years to come. For the rest of us, it takes us back to our childhood...remembering all those sites, sounds, and smells, that are tucked away in a happy place.